Posts Tagged ‘jerks

Dating Lessons Good Guys Can Learn From Jerks

Hello loyal followers.

Do you ever wonder why the good guys don’t always win?  I have.  And even in my own choices, I sometimes second-guess myself.  Why did I choose an obviously inferior person over someone even I would consider a “good catch?”  A friend enlightened me by explaining that it is often a combination of the natural women’s psyche and “marketing” on the guy’s part that seals the deal.  To understand what lessons good guys can learn from jerks, read on.

So you’ve been friendzoned. Or you’ve been dumped. And chances are, you have been turned down for the class jerk. You look at your face in the mirror and all you see are disappointment, misery, and a huge blow to your already shattered ego.

You can’t help but ask: why? And then you look at the jerk who took the girl home – along with all the other girls – and continue to ask: why, why, why?

You look at yourself once more and think: you’re nice, you’re loyal, you’re sweet and sensitive, you know how to listen, and she even says you’re ideal and that she’d be so envious of the girl who gets to go home with you. She says all those nice things about you and yet, she goes home with the a-hole.

Why? Here are some of the reasons why girls fall for jerks (and the lessons you can learn from these douche bags too):

Girls love the ego. Girls hate cocky guys, or so we say. Truth is, much as we hate it, girls are attracted to men who can handle themselves, who know themselves well, and who are secure about themselves. Girls find these men attractive because they believe that these men will handle them well. Or they would like to test whether or not women can actually hurt the male ego. If you’re the nice guy, you probably have to learn a thing or two about ego. You have to boost your self esteem so you appear confident. But because you’re the nice guy, you know where the line is drawn between arrogant and confident. Isn’t that just wonderful and absolutely attractive?

Girls like playing mommy. Ever wonder why girls are dating jerks who would not even lift a finger to prepare his own coffee? Who couldn’t even pick up the phone? Who couldn’t handle themselves after a few bottles of alcohol? And then the girl comes to the rescue even when she knows he’s flirted all night with every female creature at the bar? Well, that’s just her maternal instinct working. Women love being needed, taking care of someone, to be the go-to girl when he’s down and troubled – the be the bigger person, selfless and caring and doting like a mother. Ask the guys over at and they’ll tell you I am right! When you’re dating some girl and don’t want to be friendzoned, try being a little needy. Call her when you’re sad, ask her for help on what to get your mom, or get her opinion about how to celebrate your birthday. No, you don’t have be a total douche to let a girl feel needed. It’s all but a matter of balance.

Girls have a weird sense of heroism. He’s cheating. He’s a drunk. He parties a lot and leaves her alone. He wouldn’t even get her anything for her birthday. But she stays. She does not entertain other guys but him. Why? Because somewhere deep in her heart, she hopes and believes that she could be the one to turn this brute of a man around. It’s called the Messiah complex, and a lot of women have it. It just takes a little work and some tearful nights. If you want a girl to fall for you, ask for her help and let her know that you’ve become better because of her. That she’s “saved” you from yourself. (But please don’t overdo it!)

Need an ego boost? Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

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