What to Do When “Dating Fatigue” Hits

Greetings dear readers!

Dating can be tiring too.

Do you know what it’s like when you fail despite having tried your best?  Well that applies to dating too, and I should know – it happened to me.  It was after a very difficult breakup when I felt I was too drained to want to date again – ever!  Don’t worry if the same happens to you though, because it’s normal to feel that way sometimes and also because the feeling passes.  How long it takes for you to get over it, if that is really what you want to do, depends on how you approach the problem.

“The cycle of meeting woman after woman after woman in the same process of going out, getting cozy, and falling out even before it materializes into something good and potentially lasting can become too much for some people after some time.”

Dating can be tiring, and no one can blame you. After all, that’s time and energy invested into something that just went totally down the drain – sometimes in the most horrible, most traumatizing way in the form of awful dates.

What do you do when you get to this point in your single life? What should you do when you don’t feel like meeting women? Should you already wave the white flag on dating and confine yourself into becoming the male version of the lonely spinster with a hundred pet cats?

Try these!

When dating fatigue hits you in the face, here are things that you might actually want to try:

Being happily single. Stop going out on dates. Give your heart and mind a break and stop going out on dates. Seeking women can be an elixir of vitality for some men, but after some time, futile hours spent trying to win a girl who ends up being an emotional wreck, a psycho, or someone totally out of your league can weaken you. So stop going on dates. Go on a ‘date holiday’ and enjoy time for yourself. Stop listening to people trying to pressure you into being in a relationship. Stay single for as long as you want and need; trust me, you’ll survive it. You’ll discover a lot of things about yourself that you would not have known otherwise if you didn’t give yourself time to be alone in your thoughts. The best part is you won’t have to pay for two dinners and your phone bill would probably be cut in half! Know how to play mind games with women ????

Try a different approach to dating. We get into dating with expectations. We always want something good to come out of each date and expecting each one of them to succeed – whilst normal and common to most – may not be healthy for your heart. Before going out to meet a lady on a date, tell yourself and the universe this: “surprise me!” Drop your notions and presumptions about how the date is going to be like, how she’s going to be like, and how good your kids would look like. Treat dating a little more casually – you might just enjoy it more.

Discover and mingle with a different crowd. Maybe your usual hangouts and the usual type of people don’t get you excited or happy anymore. Maybe you need a taste of the more conservative type, or the more eccentric ones. Either way, try to discover the people outside of your usual crowd and your comfort zone; there might be something there that suits and fulfills what you’re looking for in dating. Don’t be afraid to try to new things; after all that’s the only way to discover new stuff and new people too.

Everyone gets tired at some point. Embrace it, be willing to live with it for that’s the only way to know what you want to do next.

Thanks for reading! Also read this interesting article from experienceproject.com ????

Yoga and meditation have been known to work wonders for any type of fatigue – dating fatigue included. Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here:   http://fringefamous.com/fringies-what-it-means-running-fringefamous-com/

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Don’t You Dare Tell Her These Things

Good day friends!

One of the most common complaints from men is that it is very hard to understand women.  on the other hand, I feel so frustrated that men don’t understand us women – and I am by no means alone.  That is something that may have contributed to my latest breakup, and a few others before that. One  of the usual things that bring a relationship to a head is when men, unintentionally for the most part, offend women with the things they say.

Men don’t know women. And perhaps they never will.

It’s funny just how long men have been chasing women and how far the human civilization has come but men still find women a total mystery. Except for the chosen few amongst the male lot who have mastered the SIBG guide on humor seduction or called themselves experts in women (aka playboys and gays), men still make the same mistakes their ancestors did. Forgotten dates, inappropriate gifts, and more commonly, wrong remarks are the top three on the women’s offense list. And mind you, it is wrong.

5 things you shouldn’t tell her.

And since wrong remarks are the most common offense (and oftentimes, the most offensive), here’s a little heads up to every man out there. Here are 5 things a woman would never want to hear from her man:

“You don’t look good in that dress”. This becomes extra offensive if she dressed and made up for hours to go out with you. Boy, remember this: she wants you to appreciate her, and she just definitely wants you to be proud of her, and be proud to be walking around with her. Not so much for being a trophy girlfriend, but it does not harm our female egos for our men to show us off.

“Did you gain weight?” The only way this statement is non-offensive is if your girlfriend is underweight and is working hard on gaining weight. But for the most of us, we are in a constant battle with weight gain, expanding waistlines, and arms that seem to be in a size competition with the size of our legs.  Why not try “Have you lost some weight?” for better results? [15]

“My ex *insert verb here* so much better!” of “My ex is *insert comparative adjective here*”. Even when you didn’t mean it to belittle your girlfriend, anything that tells her that she’s inferior to your ex-girlfriend in any way is offensive and could land you in the couch for several nights, along with several servings of the cold shoulder! Seriously, how would you feel if you get compared to your girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend? You likely wouldn’t like it knowing the average size of the male ego! (Oh and one other tip: any mention of the ex would similarly merit the same amount of rage from your girlfriend so just avoid it at all costs anyway).

“You’re just like your mother”. Mother-daughter relationships are as sweet as it is competitive. And definitely not all women appreciate being compared to their own moms, mostly because they get a lot of that at home. You are likely to be opening up old wounds if you drop this type of bomb and she may never forgive you for it.

“It was nothing, not a big deal!” A woman makes a big deal out of everything, that’s for sure. And if you made a mistake, if you did something that’s obviously wrong and made her upset, the last thing you’d want to do is shrug it off as something that’s “not a big deal” and try to get away with it, or worst, justify it.

Saying this to a woman is the worst way to end a relationship with her. So, men, which of these are you guilty of?

Instead, read this article to know what is the right thing to say ????

Questions? Concerns? Need advice? Need tips? Email me now at Jenny@fringefamous.com! I’ll promise to get back to all of you as fast as I can! God Bless!

A bad case of nerves may cause you to utter some unpardonable remarks; yoga and meditation will help you relax.  Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here:   http://fringefamous.com/fringies-what-it-means-running-fringefamous-com/

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Habits That Make You More Attractive To Women

Hello dear readers!

I have always been attracted to cheerful, confident, well-groomed and well-bahaved men.  It also helps if the guy can make me laugh at the drop of a hat.  But then perhaps the attraction to the foregoing traits is not unique to me – perhaps it is a general description of a man who is attractive in women’s eyes.  You guys better pay attention!

Throughout history, the world has seen how men have walked lengths to become more attractive to women – to get their attention, to keep them hooked, to make them the alpha males to their dominant women. We’ve seen everything from elixirs of handsomeness to tests of wits and brawn just to catch the eye of the ladies. Some have worked, some have not, and to this very advanced day and age of high technology – many men are still clueless about how to become attractive to women.

The problem with men and their quest for ultimate attractiveness is that they make it too difficult and too complicated. And worse, they ask each other. How can another man talk authoritatively about what is attractive to women? Of course that’s something that can best be answered by no less than yes – women.

Boost Your Attractiveness!

And here’s one tip from a woman to a man – the secret to being attractive, to boost your attractiveness, on how to seduce her from her boyfriend, is simple. It is so simple that you can easily make a habit out of it.  Here are 5 habits that can boost your attractiveness:

Smile more often. A smile is a woman’s perfect accessory. And it can be that of men too! Strive towards achieving the kind of smile that goes from the lips to the eyes. Smile an electric smile – one that makes the other person smile back at you by instinct not by will. This very simple, very basic gesture is so powerful that it can help condition an otherwise sad mind into thinking more positively without so much effort. And a smile can be so gentle and so subtle yet powerful enough to make any person cozy up to a total stranger. Smiling makes you look friendly, comfortable and nice – and this is very easy for any woman to ease up to. Smile and the world – including the women – will smile back at you.

See this to see an article that will help you more to improve your appearance.

Practice good hygiene. He who smells good is more attractive than he who looks good. And so make sure you smell as clean as you look. Practice good hygiene – this gives women the impression that you are very composed, responsible, and that you are in total control of yourself. If you take care of yourself well, it sends the message that you will take great care of your woman too. So don’t be afraid to take a shower, wear clean clothes, and brush your teeth regularly.

Exude confidence – fake it if you have to. If you can walk with your back a little more straight, and your head held much higher, and you can look people in the eye even when your heart is about to jump off of your chest, you have successfully radiated confidence. And if you do it a bit more regularly, you can make people believe – women, especially – that you are indeed a confident man. With a bit of practice you can learn to be really more confident.  And confidence, my friends, is always attractive.

Develop humor. If you can squeeze in a bit of fake confidence into an intelligent humorous remark, you can get a woman hooked in any conversation. And any guy who can keep a woman’s attention in a conversation will seem more attractive than a man who could not mutter a word. This has been proven time and again, and it will continuously prove true at any date and any era.

Be a gentleman. Even when the rest of the world says that chivalry is dead, you can always bring it back to life. Not only will your lady of interest appreciate it, more importantly, her mother will love you for it. So if you want to win points for being an ideal boyfriend, be the consummate gentleman.

Remember, it only takes 21 days to make something a habit so try these things out with a lot of patience and practice – plus consistency – to reach your ideal level of attractiveness.

Good luck!

Also don’t forget to follow these Do’s and Don’ts in Texting Women!

I know this will work for everyone but please do let me know what you think. Email anytime of day and I will definitely answer you as fast as I can, message me at help@fringefamous.com!

I can help you get rid of bad habits and create positive ones. Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

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Making A Clean Break With A Difficult Ex

Hi people.  I’m back!  This post is about dealing with a dreadful ex, so you guys better read on!

For me, the hardest part of a relationship is the breakup.

All breakups, even the ones which are mutually decided, hurt.  What makes it hurt more is if one party just cannot move on and keeps pestering the other.  But there are ways to limit the damage you can suffer from a difficult ex.  I’ve listed a few tips in this post.  I hope you all find it helpful.

Everyone has had a difficult ex, only some more difficult, more annoying, and sometimes more hateful than others. But then again, the true measure of a man is not always on how he does things but how he reacts to things and situations life throws at him.

This remains true of dealing with a difficult ex. [Your not-so-wonderful former lover can do everything she feels like doing, but what you do with whatever she’s doing is what truly matters and what defines what happens between you two.

Before I give you the rundown on how to deal with a difficult ex, check out this article on SIBG.com. It’s going to give you a good primer on how to keep your emotions intact when your ex becomes unbearable. Ready? Here are some helpful tips that you can try in dealing with a difficult ex:

Talk.

Talk like mature adults. Talk in a public place where she cannot do her drama – restaurant, park, diner, mall, or other similar places. See, one of the most common traits of difficult ex-girlfriends is their ability to start a drama and blow everything out of proportion. No man wants that. On the other hand, no woman wants to risk humiliating herself, so taking her to talk in a public place is your safest choice. Just make sure you choose a spot where you guys can actually talk and hear each other out without risking having other people hear your conversation. And remember: be honest, direct, and respectful. Avoid making her feel too comfortable because it might send the wrong message. Do not beat around the bush and don’t linger and JUST TELL HER OFF. Oh, and do it ONCE-AND-FOR-ALL.

Ignore her.

Ignore her drunk texts, drunk calls, and the give-me-attention antics. Difficult exes are so good at that. No, don’t even to tell her to shut up or to stop it. See, that’s why ‘the talk’ was a once-and-for-all thing because you won’t do it again. You’ve broken up so there won’t be anything that remains between you two. So even if she bangs on your door every night, or calls you every minute, or even stalks you. Just ignore her. Ignoring her will send her the message to lay off and to leave you alone. If it doesn’t, go to the police and get a restraining order.

Don’t let her manipulate you.

It’s always more difficult for you guys if your exes are a little too emotional and border on the self-injuring and suicidal types. They’d eat out on your guilt and manipulate you by threatening to hurt themselves.  If she does this, she’s clearly in need of psychological help. Reach out to her and convince her to see a professional; at the same time, reach out to her family and friends because they are the people who can take care of her the most.

Be civil when you see each other in public.

So your relationship’s ending was the absolute worst— but remember, you still have to carry on and act in a civil manner. When you accidentally meet her in public, expect her to do something dramatic or attention-grabbing. She could do something as annoying as tailing behind you or talking with your lady companion, or something as crazy as grabbing your behind or creating a scene – who knows, really. Whatever she does, be civil and give her nothing more than smile and a nod and then walk away. It’s simple, respectful but tells her that you don’t have any business with each other.

The best and perhaps only thing to remember when it comes to how you treat your difficult ex is this: treat her the way you want to be treated – with respect for whatever you’ve had and whatever you have separately at present. You may never be lovers again, and you may never even be friends but you can still be civil and treat each other in a mature manner.

Get over traumatic breakups fast.  Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

Ways To Impress In A Group Date

Hey there fellows!  Are you a fan of group dates?  Girls maybe a fan, but guys usually avoid them.  But sometimes there’s just no way around them.

I remember that the only group dates I hated were the ones where my boyfriend failed to be as impressive as I wanted him to be.  This usually led to misunderstandings.  But it should be easy for guys to ace a group date.  Believe it or not failures to impress usually stem from only two things:  lack of confidence/nerves and not trying hard enough.

We girls love group dates. We use it mainly for two things, among others of course:

(1) to kill two birds with one stone – go out with our boyfriends and our best friends at the same time, and

(2) to show off and play the classic game of ‘my boyfriend is better than yours’.

Now, now, since these group dates are mostly girl things, it is pretty easy for us girls to act comfortably in them. If this is your first date, better check these mistakes and avoid them like the plague. And besides, we initiate most of these group dates with people that we are comfortable with. So the discomfort, the awkwardness, and practically most everything that’s not exactly nice about a group date lands in the hands of the guys.

And because it is impossible to say ‘No’ to every group date your girlfriend wants to take you to, here are some helpful tips which could help you move around in the group dating scenario more easily and more comfortably:

Information is king; know the people you’re going out with. It’s probably your girlfriend’s cousins or college friends, or maybe even office friends. Ask about them and ask your girlfriend to give you a good background of these people. It will help make the conversations flow more easily, plus the thought of knowing they’re all just as human as you are will make it less horrifying for you. As an added bonus, your girlfriend will be extra happier with you (and in return will be much nicer to you) because she will appreciate the interest you’re giving her and her friends.

Put your best foot forward. It’s practically the same as going out to meet her parents: you need to be at your most impressive self. The thing is, as I’ve said earlier, it’s a thing of ‘my boyfriend is better than yours’ and your girlfriend brought you there for a reason: she wants to show you off. So oblige her. The last thing you want is embarrass her in front of her friends by acting like a total douche bag! She’s so proud of you that she actually wants to show you off, so give her reason to.

Don’t even think of looking flirtatiously at any of her friends. Girls are a jealous bunch. We are jealous even with our bestest of friends – trust me, it’s normal and it’s a girl thing. The worst thing you could do is look a little too long at her hottest friend, flirt with her in front of your girlfriend or maybe even give one of her friends too much of a compliment. This is definitely not one of the ways on how to meet women you like. You’ll regret it as soon as you get back home.

Socialize, mingle and do whatever it takes to be part of the group. Staying in one corner, looking sullen all day (or night) and barely making a conversation with anyone are rude. And it will make your girlfriend hate you. Socialize a little bit. Engage them in conversation, laugh at their jokes, ask questions, and be a part of the group. No matter how awkward or weird it is for you (if you are THAT much of an introvert), your girlfriend will love the effort and you’ll be handsomely rewarded. *Wink*

Find the inner peace that will allow you to confidently face the woman of your dreams.  Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

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How NOT to End a Relationship

Hello gentlemen!  This post is dedicated to ensuring you don’t end your relationships in the worst way.

I’ve had relationships I just knew would not last, but I had to give them a try.  Thus when they ended I was not surprised.  But in all of my relationships my boyfriends and I had the sense to breakup properly – that’s why while we are no longer romantically linked, we have remained friends.  Here’s hoping my tips help you end relationships the same way.

Some relationships are just doomed to never see another day. And sometimes, even worse than the bad relationship itself is the bad way some people choose to break it up. If you’re a guy who’s looking to break free from a bad relationship, read on and know what to avoid at all costs.

Here are some of the worst ways of breaking up known to mankind:

Cheating. To cheat your way into a breakup is one of the stupidest things you could ever think of. One, it’s disrespectful. Two, it’s going to cause a lot of drama. Three, you’re dooming your next relationship to failure by starting it on the wrong foot. Cheating is just so low. Do not taint your supposed gentlemanliness by putting two women in an insecure position that they don’t deserve. Be man enough to finish one relationship before starting another one – at the right time.

Lying and making lame excuses. If you cannot be honest to someone, you do not deserve the to be in a relationship withher. You are not being fair to yourself and to the other person by lying about the reason for your breakup. One, she’ll never learn from the relationship; two, you’re in for bigger trouble when she finds out the real reason for your breakup. On top of that, correcting something with an equally wrong thing (lying) does not make any sense nor set things right.

Just disappearing without any explanation. This has got to be the lamest and the most pathetic way to end a relationship. You are not saving yourself from the “ensuing drama”. You are not saving face. On the contrary, you are making a huge fool of yourself and putting a poor girl in a bad situation. The least you can do is to leave her a note if you can’t say it to her face, while offering a good explanation of your reason for leaving. At least then she won’t be living with the misery of trying to discover what she did wrong to deserve treatment from you.

A public breakup.  Really? Break up with her? In public? In the loudest voice you could muster? In front of friends and strangers? Really? That’s lower than low. That’s the most unmanly thing to do. It’s not even just ungentlemanly; it’s UNMANLY. Go ahead and make an even bigger fool of yourself; let’s see who gets worse comments between you and the woman you tried to humiliate in public! Btw, flirting on Facebook with another woman falls under this.

Physical violence. This is the most unbelievable, most horrid, most inhumane way a man can end a relationship. Surprisingly, and unfortunately, it’s very common. Lay your hands on a woman only if it is to love her and nurture her, not to make her suffer. The emotional and physical trauma of this is enough to earn you ticket to the deepest, most hellish embers of hell. This is just plain cowardice.

Breakups are never pleasant. But there are always more civil ways to do it. Choose the ways of the gentleman – do it properly. And when you’ve totally gotten over it, here are pickup lines courtesy of SonicSeduction.net that you might find handy. Choose to be humane.

Find the inner strength to deal with any kind of adversity.  Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

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Make Her Smile Without Spending A Penny

Howdy guys!

Do you know that for women like me, effort is often worth more than the real value of gifts?  Yes it is.  I still remember the most memorable gifts I have ever received are ones which involve personal effort and a bit of personalization.  Real cost is nothing.  When they say “it’s the thought that counts” believe it!  There are some awesome gift ideas you don’t even need to spend a penny on, literally!

The best things in life are for free. Of course, that would be discounting wines, roses, 5-course dinners, hotel rooms, holiday vacation tickets, and even joyrides from the ‘best things’ list. If the greatest of things are free, everything else that you have to spend on is definitely out of the list.

But would you believe me if I tell you that there are still ways to make your girl happy without spending a single cent on anything? Impossible you say? Raise your eyebrows do you? Wanna bet?

Here are some ways to make your girlfriend happy without spending anything:

Make a love letter. If you think your snail mail is out of fashion, outdated and boring, think again when you see the smile on your girl’s face when she receives one out of the blue and when she least expects it. This is also one of the sure ways of how to get a girl. The mailbox does not necessarily have to be limited to bills and newsletters and magazine subscriptions. It is also a perfect place to hold a surprise handwritten love letter. Why not email you say? Email is too easy. Email is so mainstream and so impersonal. Love letters, on the other hand, contain your handprint, your personal imprint, and maybe your teeny tiny kisses. What do you have to spend for it? You don’t even need to buy a stamp. Stash it in her bag or put it in the mailbox; write it on some clean bond, or borrow some parchment from the office secretary and voila! The tip is to write from the heart and to write honestly – bare your heart with every stroke of your pen. Cost: $0. You might have to deal with teary kisses though; yes, that’s how much power comes from a single handwritten letter. Here are some first lines to get you started.

Serve breakfast in bed. You don’t need to be a Gordon Ramsay to whip up breakfast in bed for le ladylove. The purpose of this is not to show off your culinary skills anyway. The purpose of this gesture is to be sweet and caring and to be seen as the most thoughtful man in the world. So go ahead and scrounge in the pantry for some awesome breakfast surprise. Make pancakes from an instant mix, get some fresh fruits, and maybe even some fresh milk. Arrange them to spell her name, or draw some hearts with your chocolate syrup on her plate and seal it with a kiss. Start her day right and sweet, and she’ll love you all day and all night long.

Stage a magical moment in your very own backyard. Not all women fall for jerks. Gather up some posies and put it on her hair. Set up a mini stage in your garden, or a mini dance ‘floor’. Play some music from Enya and dance under the moonlight. While you’re slow dancing, profess your undying love to her. Tell her how beautiful she is, how amazing she is, and how much you want her. Declare the future you dream of for you and her together and tell her how happy you are with her. Nothing is sweeter than the profession of love of the man you love. If you do this, you have her head over heels for you like it were the very first time.

Looking for a unique date idea that will refresh both of you physically and mentally?  Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

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Making Text Work For You

I’ve always believed that too much text is bad for you.  Alright there may be some word play involved in that statement but you cannot deny that text is just too impersonal; I am definitely not a fan of SMS.  But if you must use text to communicate with us women, there are certain unwritten rules you need to follow.

Do you know how to properly text a lady?

See, technology has made communicating with the opposite so easy and so fast that a lot of men think getting girls to like them through text is just as easy. Of course that’s a big misconception. Before you jump into a texting spree with her, read this to learn why some men are unsuccessful in using text messages to attract women.

Texting requires certain etiquette. You can’t just text her anything you like.  Unless you know proper SMS etiquette I would advise against spending all night texting a lady.  Gentlemen, I present to you the do’s and don’ts of texting women:

DO’s

Use correct spelling and proper grammar. Okay, so replacing ‘you’ with ‘u’ and ‘okay’ with ‘ok’ are perfectly acceptable. BuT iF yA texXxt lyK dizZz, please by all means go back to first grade. That way of texting is NOT COOL and it’s hard to understand. It does not make your message any sweeter or you any more attractive. Au contraire, monsieur.  Show the lady some respect by speaking with her nicely, politely, and correctly.

Text at a decent hour. So there’s this girl that you really, really, really, really like and you just cannot wait for the next sunrise to text her. What do you do? Text her? WRONG! A decent hour to text is within the usual office hours and dinner and maybe a little after dinner. Even in this day and age, initiating a conversation at 10 in the evening is a little rude. And when she says goodnight, it means ‘I’m done texting with you for the day’. It’s totally none of your business if she texts someone else or stays up all night watching her favorite TV series. Goodnight means she’s done for the day.

Keep your conversations fun, light, and wholesome. Avoid topics that are provocative or gearing towards offensive, especially those with sexual connotations. Unless you really know each other so well and you have reached that level of comfort, some topics are just off limits. The problem with most people is that they take the mask of texting too far; just because she does not see you at the moment does not mean you can be careless with your remarks.

DON’Ts

Don’t flood her with texts. When you’re in the getting-to-know-each-other stage, the ideal ratio of text is 1:1. That means text from you and 1 reply from girl. If she does not reply, you are not to text her again. Stop making excuses like ‘maybe the network messed up and the message did not get through. Here, let me resend it. See here how to ask a girl out – the definitive guide.

Don’t freak her out by sending anonymous texts. Really? You cannot think of a good enough excuse or pickup line? Laaaame! Sending her creepy texts like ‘I can see you from here’ and ‘you looked cute in that orange dress today’ will not make her blush from bashfulness; it will make her red in a mixture of fury and fear; she might just have you tracked and arrested for stalking.

Don’t get mad at her for not responding. Ok, so women fall for jerks. But don’t become one just because you think she’ll like it. Some people actually do have a life, mister. If you spend the  whole day texting her and expecting her to answer each one – promptly – then be prepared to see her off. Give her some mystery, something to think about. Don’t bore her too soon.

Maybe the physical and mental renewal you are looking for can be found through ancient body and mind conditioning techniques.  Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

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How To Ditch A Bad Case Of Nerves Before That First Date

What’s up guys? I hope you’re all as happy with your relationships as I am.

Of course it did not start out that way.  I had to go through the dreaded first date.  You know the feeling – you don’t know what to expect and are nervously hoping everything goes great.  Knowing that being nervous does not help is no consolation at all.  But there are some things you can do to calm yourself and regain your confidence before that all-important first date.

First dates are as wonderful and as exciting as they are scary. Those are the moments – a few good hours – in our lives when nature lets all the butterflies descend upon our tummies and send us into a crazy frenzy of anxiety.

More often than not, it’s the more important and more valuable dates that cause the most anxiety. We girls have lots of ways to ease pre-date jitters. There’s always the BFF to vent out to hours before the actual date. There’s always yoga or a cup of calming jasmine or chamomile tea to ease the nerves. And of course, grooming up is one of the best, most effective ways to ease them butterflies in the stomach before a date.

But how do men cope? If you’ve come as far as booking a first date, it means you’ve been successful and probably won’t need tips about how to meet girls. How do men ease their tensions to be calm and relaxed before a date? You can’t possibly call up your best guy bud and giggle and squeal like a little girl, can you? And so here are some manly tips to help relax and calm you down before a first date:

A glass of wine or a shot of scotch will go a long way. Did you know that alcohol was once used, medicinally, to help calm the nerves? There’s nothing like a good glass of wine or some scotch on the rocks to help ease your nervous energy. Gulp it down before going to your destination or drink some right before your date arrives. Don’t drink more than a glass of it though – especially when you’re driving – that is if you want to avoid looking like a complete idiot! And don’t do it every time you have an upcoming date because alcohol can do more harm than good, too.

Exercise. Right before taking a shower, sweat out some energy. Box around, run around the neighborhood or run up a few flights of stairs. Maybe even swim a lap. Those jitters are excess energy and the only way to calm them is to release them. Don’t tire yourself too much though.

Look good. More often than not, jitters are a result of your lack of confidence. Boost yourself by looking great and smelling even better. What makes you look great will make you feel great, and vice versa. There’s really nothing to worry about your looks anyway. You look great champion!

Psyche yourself up. It’s just a date. It’s just one of the many dates. Don’t make a big deal out of it. No one’s going to slash your throat or strangle you to death if you don’t make too much of an impression. Everything that you’re scared about – it’s all in your head. Your doom scenarios are all in your head and never in reality. So why worry? She’s bound to be just as worried as you are anyway!

Dates are fun, exciting, and could lead you to find that one true love of your life. Don’t let your irrational fears and weird case of nerves get the best of you. And hey, don’t forget to pick her up! You’ve earned that date; therefore there must be something great and date-worthy about you. You are one awesome guy so don’t let your worries hang a cloud over your awesomeness. Have fun!

No, anxiety never helps; but perhaps yoga and meditation can!  Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

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Should You Flirt On Facebook? Sure, Why Not?

G’day mates!

Are you a fan of social media?  I did not really like it till about a couple of years ago when I realized not being in Facebook made me miss a lot of things; meeting new people, keeping in touch with friends, and generally socializing among them.  Social media has both benefits and pitfalls and it should be used with caution – or you’ll soon realize how hard it is to erase a post and mend the frayed relationships it has caused.  But yes, you can flirt on Facebook!

The rise of the social media has made the whole dating and flirting scene more dynamic and, well, more virtual. Earlier, we’ve talked about online dating. This is actually connected to that topic. Its creators must have probably predicted that in one way or another, something more than friendship would grow out of it. Flirting being part of human nature, how can we expect less anyway?

Facebook, in particular, has risen to levels that it’s become an extension of one’s personality in the virtual world. We all have people we met on other networking sites or chat sites that we end up asking whether they have a Facebook profile or not. That is because practically everyone has a Facebook account.

The thing about Facebook is that it is not a dating site. It does not have the ‘flirt’, ‘wink’, ‘gift’, and other features that other sites made specifically for dating have. How do you flirt on Facebook? How to pick up girls?  How do you make your moves on Facebook that could possibly win you a first date?

Here are some guidelines and tips on flirting on Facebook:

Pimp your profile. It’s virtually how you represent yourself to the netizens of the worldwide web. It is therefore very important that you look and ‘sound’ great on your profile. Screen your tagged photos, choose a profile picture that makes you look good, and keep your posts sensible at the very least. Avoid posting photos of your pets or your favorite cartoon characters as your profile picture. It makes girls think you are a “poser” or that you probably don’t exist. Otherwise, if you have privacy issues, stay off social networking sites altogether.

Start with a comment and a few likes. Some people just overdo it by liking endlessly. And the only thing worse than this is to like every post of the girl you’re interested in. Talk about creepy. At least show a little class. Comment on comment-worthy posts, ‘like’ those that are really interesting, and just be visible.

Chat with caution. Just as it is when you’re trying to pickup girls in real life situations, over eagerness can be more harmful than beneficial. Start with a simple, non creepy ‘Hi’, and talk about your common friends or common knowledge about each other whether you’ve met/known each other in person or not. And don’t talk too long at the beginning either. Don’t divulge your intentions too soon and maybe keep her guessing a bit if you’re just being friendly or you’re being flirty. Whether you’re on Facebook or another dating chat site, read this article in Men’s Health  to avoid common mistakes.

Increase presence. The thing about Facebook flirting is that it takes time. Sure a lot of people think that it’s easier, it’s quicker – after all it’s in the virtual realm and it’s more fast-paced. But that’s where most problems come from – haste. So take time. Chat longer, get to know each other better until you become friends, exchange links, tag each other in funny posts.  Then you can move on to be subtly suggestive, compliment her and her posts, etc. After that you can try asking her out.

Facebook is pretty much the real world in a box. The same dating rules apply. Good luck!

It’s never too late to discover the mental and physical benefits of yoga and meditation. Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

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