FringeDating

Dating Lessons Good Guys Can Learn From Jerks

Hello loyal followers.

Do you ever wonder why the good guys don’t always win?  I have.  And even in my own choices, I sometimes second-guess myself.  Why did I choose an obviously inferior person over someone even I would consider a “good catch?”  A friend enlightened me by explaining that it is often a combination of the natural women’s psyche and “marketing” on the guy’s part that seals the deal.  To understand what lessons good guys can learn from jerks, read on.

So you’ve been friendzoned. Or you’ve been dumped. And chances are, you have been turned down for the class jerk. You look at your face in the mirror and all you see are disappointment, misery, and a huge blow to your already shattered ego.

You can’t help but ask: why? And then you look at the jerk who took the girl home – along with all the other girls – and continue to ask: why, why, why?

You look at yourself once more and think: you’re nice, you’re loyal, you’re sweet and sensitive, you know how to listen, and she even says you’re ideal and that she’d be so envious of the girl who gets to go home with you. She says all those nice things about you and yet, she goes home with the a-hole.

Why? Here are some of the reasons why girls fall for jerks (and the lessons you can learn from these douche bags too):

Girls love the ego. Girls hate cocky guys, or so we say. Truth is, much as we hate it, girls are attracted to men who can handle themselves, who know themselves well, and who are secure about themselves. Girls find these men attractive because they believe that these men will handle them well. Or they would like to test whether or not women can actually hurt the male ego. If you’re the nice guy, you probably have to learn a thing or two about ego. You have to boost your self esteem so you appear confident. But because you’re the nice guy, you know where the line is drawn between arrogant and confident. Isn’t that just wonderful and absolutely attractive?

Girls like playing mommy. Ever wonder why girls are dating jerks who would not even lift a finger to prepare his own coffee? Who couldn’t even pick up the phone? Who couldn’t handle themselves after a few bottles of alcohol? And then the girl comes to the rescue even when she knows he’s flirted all night with every female creature at the bar? Well, that’s just her maternal instinct working. Women love being needed, taking care of someone, to be the go-to girl when he’s down and troubled – the be the bigger person, selfless and caring and doting like a mother. Ask the guys over at sibg.com and they’ll tell you I am right! When you’re dating some girl and don’t want to be friendzoned, try being a little needy. Call her when you’re sad, ask her for help on what to get your mom, or get her opinion about how to celebrate your birthday. No, you don’t have be a total douche to let a girl feel needed. It’s all but a matter of balance.

Girls have a weird sense of heroism. He’s cheating. He’s a drunk. He parties a lot and leaves her alone. He wouldn’t even get her anything for her birthday. But she stays. She does not entertain other guys but him. Why? Because somewhere deep in her heart, she hopes and believes that she could be the one to turn this brute of a man around. It’s called the Messiah complex, and a lot of women have it. It just takes a little work and some tearful nights. If you want a girl to fall for you, ask for her help and let her know that you’ve become better because of her. That she’s “saved” you from yourself. (But please don’t overdo it!)

Need an ego boost? Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

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Dealing With Her PMS

Sorry guys, I just feel the need to post this. I’ve done you a favor by just putting the acronym on the title.  Too much info, right? But hey, if you’re going to deal with this EVERY MONTH, might as well be well-equipped than sorry!

So what’s PMS? (It’s not as gross as you think!)

Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (PMS) – a monthly occurrence in a woman’s life that comes the week of or before her period; largely believed to be caused by fluctuations in her hormones; characterized by any or a combination of weird food cravings, exaggerated fickle mindedness, moodiness, being temperamental, being highly emotional, or all of those symptoms combined; also known as “every-boyfriend’s-worst-monthly-nightmare”.  And no, it’s not just being clingy!

I have read about us girls not using PMS as an excuse to be mean and less than agreeable towards our dear darling boyfriends countless times already. And yes, I couldn’t agree more. It is the most unfair of things.

We experience different kinds of pains during PMS. We just need understanding.
But let me be the voice of all the women out there and allow me to give you fool proof tips for boyfriends on how to handle girlfriends on PMS. (These are inspired by how my own boyfriend handles my seemingly impossible moods in the midst of my PMS).

What to Do

Feed her. What else can be better than food when your hormones are having a party at your expense? Indulge them on foods that release happy hormones like chocolates and other sweets like ice cream. I’ve heard, too, that bananas have that same power so go ahead and get her the most beautiful banana split in the world. Oh, but of course it wouldn’t hurt to bring her whatever her favorite food is.

Get her to be productive. I’ve noticed, amongst me and my friends, that we get extra “clean” with our surroundings on the days leading up to our ‘red days’. We clean out our bags, our rooms, our houses – everything. And so, when she’s on her PMS, offer to help her with cleaning the difficult parts of the house like the ceilings or change her busted lights for her.

Workout with her. Even when it’s supposed to be the crankiest and laziest of days, PMS days are crucial to having a pain-free period. Working out the week before her period will help ease the muscles of the belly and the pelvis, thereby reducing the chances of getting cramps on “the day”. Encourage her to sweat it out with you at the gym and use this bit of ‘science’ to encourage her especially if you know that she is a prone to cramps. I heard yoga is awesome.

Cuddle when she needs it, let go when she say so. Some girls get quick bolts of pain in the belly and pelvis even before the first day of period comes. Oh, and to most of us, our skins become very sensitive and we say ‘ouch’ more often and even for the slightest of touches. In my case too, I always feel like I need to do number 2. Good thing I can now bring with my iPad with me. My toilet read would always be with me.

When she feels the pain, rub her belly gently or cuddle with her. It never fails to make us feel comfortable. But let go when she says doesn’t feel like it or risk unleashing the kraken. We can take all the painkillers in the market and still not get enough relief. So lend us a hand (literally).

Make her laugh. This part is challenging but I’m very proud to say my boyfriend is very good at this. The thing is, we sometimes even feel depressed during this period. My eyebrows could be meeting in an epic frown and I may be the spawn of the devil for all he cares – he will try his best to make me laugh. And somehow he makes it work!

These things sound like a lot of work but then again, it will always depend on two things: how much you care for your girl and/or how much you want to avoid her awful PMS moods. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS SO PLEASE BEAR WITH US! We get headaches and pains all over our body. And this is every month. We just need you to understand.

How about you guys, what do you usually do to help your girl feel better on PMS days?

You might want to ask if she wants to attend my Yoga and Meditation class here.

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Online Dating: Boon Or Bane?

Hello Fringers! I was on Facebook earlier and saw an old friend post her pics with her family in Melbourne. She’s married to an Australian chef and they have settled down in Australia. I can’t help but be amazed at how they met – online!

It is amazing how technology has taken a big leap since the invention of the computer. I grew up in the 1990s when technology was just picking up its pace. Back then, dating meant meeting someone in person, spending time with that someone while trying to get to know the person better before deciding whether he or she was a perfect match.

In this digital age, however, everything seems to be possible with just a few clicks on our computers. The internet has really gone a long way from the wonky dial-up to the lightning speed of LTE. With the advent of smart phones and gazillion apps that go with them, everybody seems to be living an online life. We work, shop, pay bills, and order food online. And now, even dating can be done online! [18]But is it an advantage or disadvantage?

Whether online dating is boon or bane still depends largely on how people react to it. I have female friends who, after confessing to having had enough of real-world dating, have tried online dating to meet their perfect mates.

Five out of my six female friends who tried online dating found their prince charmings and got married. All five of them are now living in their respective spouse’s home countries. Yes, they all married interracially. They all have cute kids and are living in their own houses.

You would think that online dating is, therefore, better than real-world dating. It is not as simple as it sounds, though. All five of them had to go through trial and error. Almost all of them were lied to at first. And whether they are living happily ever after, I wouldn’t really know.

If there is one thing that I see as an advantage of online dating, it is the option of not having to meet jerks in person. If you think someone is lying to you, you can easily drop him from your list and move on. It saves us time and emotions. Unlike when you are dating someone in person, and you discovered he is lying, you cannot simply get rid of him especially if he knows where you live or work.

So would I prefer online dating over meeting someone in person? I guess online dating is not for everyone. Moreover, it is just a prelude to real-world dating. The former could never substitute the latter. We are humans, and humans have physical needs, which can only be satisfied physically. Would I try it? I certainly would.   But I would do so with great caution because it is so easy to deceive and be deceived online. I would probably read blogs like SIBG.com as a precaution haha.

If you ask me, online dating can be beneficial as long as we remain smart and vigilant. Although there are a lot of scammers online, there are also a lot of genuine people. It is just a matter of finding the gems from among the rubble. It is always wise, real-world or online, to use our heads first before using our hearts.

– Jeanette

Attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.  

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FringeFamous Guide: How Yoga Could Get You A Date

I could almost hear you say it. I know right? Yoga AND date? If you’ve read the story why I created this site, you’d know that I did to relieve me of stress. I really wanted to try out meditation for health reasons. When I say health, I mean physical and psychological. If you haven’t read my story, you may read it here.  But hey, that doesn’t mean I can’t talk (or text) about other stuff!

A few months ago, I bumped into a friend of mine in a quaint little café near the subway. We haven’t seen each other in a while, so we doubled the effort of trying to catch up with one another over a cup of tea. I particularly noticed how amazing her body looked (and I’m not talking about courtesy here—she REALLY, REALLY looked amazing), so I asked her what has she been up to these days and whatever she was doing to make her body look like it was Photoshopped to perfection.

So, I got my answer—yoga.

The next thing I knew, she was showing me a photo of this really hot guy. He happens to be her new boyfriend. And they met in yoga class.

I decided to sign up for a yoga class immediately after. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t sign up to get a date. But if my friends are up to it, I am backing them up 100 percent. So anyway, like any normal person would, I depended on Google to show me more information on how to begin, but I was quite held back because the options presented to me were quite overwhelming. There are simply too many types of yoga to begin with! Luckily, my friend made my life easier by inviting me over to her Hatha yoga class. Five months later, I was hooked.

And guess what, I’ve made friends with a lot of gorgeous women in that span of time. The guys, although outnumbered, are equally hot. There is something about those who practice yoga that attracts you to them. I just can’t say what it is exactly. Could be the right amount of confidence or the light aura they exude. I am totally sold that yoga could be the answer to your needs — physical, mental, emotional even.

While many people take up yoga classes mainly for physical fitness, I signed up for its psychological health benefits. But having a GREAT body because of it is, of course, a hefty bonus! But seriously, the relationship between meditation and health is something that should not be ignored.

Yoga soothes the mind and cares for the body, too.

Practicing yoga is definitely an experience by itself. Enrolling yourself in a yoga class is your first step to a healthy mind and body. If you want to practice yoga but do not know where to start exactly, here are some basics that can guide you as you start your journey towards well-being.

There are different types of yoga you can choose from. Different strokes for different folks, so they say. I’m listing down four types and I’ve highlighted what each type is all about to help you decide:

Hatha Yoga

Hatha yoga’s essential component would be a purification of the mental, physical, emotional, and energetic bodies. This element of purification is essential because it is believed to address even the most subtle aspects of the human body. Meditation plays a key role in hatha yoga, because concentration and focus is physically and mentally demanded during poses. Brainwave entrainment explores the benefits of hatha yoga, making it the best choice in helping one find spiritual freedom.

Raja Yoga

Raja yoga, also known as Ashtanga yoga, is a more traditional type of yoga that originated in India between 100 and 300 AD. This type of yoga is mostly correlated with intuition and psychic perception; and it is also one of the most advanced types of yoga to practice. Raja yoga requires its practitioner to have reached a state of “self-realization” in order to take advantage of the poses.

Karma Yoga

Popular in the West, Karma yoga focuses on the practitioner’s thoughts, actions, and feelings. The neverending cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth allows for a more spiritual connection that enables the practitioner to achieve a unique state of calm and stability.

Jnana Yoga

Jnana yoga is becoming more popular over the years, as its approach revolves around rational deduction, wisdom, and intellect. Practitioners of Jnana yoga are taught poses that will aid them to remove self-judgment and self-misconceptions. The process in finding spirituality through Jnana yoga involves Discrimination, Dispassion, Virtue, and Liberation.

On Your Way to Spirituality

Practicing yoga truly has a lot of benefits. I have to admit it is not easy—but no pain, no gain, right? Finding your spiritual path through yoga would allow you to conquer life as it happens, and live a life free from worries and anxieties.

Why Yoga?

If you are a mom like me, try to fit yoga in your tight schedule and you’d be thankful you did. It is indeed a stress-buster, even your kids would be thankful. It takes away your worries and gives you a fresher, brighter outlook. Your partner would be delighted, too, when he sees you in your little black dress on your next date night.

I actually think yoga is perfect for everyone. Whether you’re a single or married woman who lives a fast-paced life or a guy who has tried all the techniques in picking up girls to no avail, this is for you! It makes you exude positive energy so you attract positive energy, too. Don’t just take my word, though. Go out and try it!

XOXO,

Jeanette

Anyone can attend my Yoga and Meditation class – just go here.

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Are You Dating A Clingy Girl?

Good day people!

Back in college, I remember having this guy friend who started disappearing when he started going out with this really hot, really popular girl in school. They were always together so we thought, ‘ahh well, new romance! Who can’t say no to a girl as pretty as her?’ They can never be seen apart, they were always together, and I believe the maximum distance between them in public places is less than a centimeter. He waits for her outside the ladies’ room, as she does for him, they eat on the same plate, they wear matching clothes, and I swear I thought they had each other’s face already. We were amazed at the way our friend knows how to attract women, especially popular girls in school.

You would have thought they were the happiest couple and paradise hath come upon them when they were together. But we were wrong. He was unhappy. I was bewildered when he said how he was really feeling, six months into their relationship. He felt choked, he felt his personal space was violated, and he felt like he had lost himself because she wants all of his attention, time, and all of him. He hated her being clingy.

But what exactly is a clingy girl?

Clingy – girls and boys alike – are people who are so insecure about themselves that they turn to their partners for security. They are quite normal when they are with friends and around other people; only their partners know how weird they can get. They are extremely and illogically jealous and as already mentioned, they want their partners all to themselves forever and ever and ever!!  PMS is an altogether different matter.

Finding the words to say around girls may be hard, but a little warning: clingy girls (and clingy men) would definitely hold on to every word you say. So be careful and watch what you’re saying, if your significant other is clingy. Do not make false promises or they will make your life a living hell when you break it.

I don’t understand why but for some reason, we are more aware of clingy women than clingy men. But I am pretty sure clingy men do exist even in its purest form.

For some people, clinginess is a red flag for a long-term relationship, while others get high on the attention. If you are one guy who can’t stand the thought of living in a world where only the two of you are together, then here are some telltale signs of clinginess in a girl:

She’s always calling you. And when she’s not, she’s texting you.

She texts you when you have not responded to her text for more than 5 minutes.

She gets illogically jealous even of people who she shouldn’t be jealous of (i.e. sisters or female cousins)

She gets jealous of your friends and thinks they are bad influence on you

She gets upset everytime you go out anywhere without her

She won’t do things without you

She devotes all her time and attention to you and she expects you to do the same

She spies on you through friends and acquaintances

She wants detailed information about your daily routine and whereabouts

Clingy girls are not bad girls; something in their lives may have turned them into these kinds of people. They may have been so badly hurt in the past and this is just their way of coping. They want full control of their partners so they don’t get hurt again.

If this is not your kind of thing, then end the relationship before it blossoms.  Do it as soon as you realize you can’t stand this kind of attention. Otherwise, you’ll both end up in a mire of hurt, anger and jealousy. Save yourselves! Now!

Jeanette

Before you make a decision to end it, consider asking her to try yoga and meditation with you.  To attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.

Dazzle Her By Saying The Right Things!

Hi guys!  Do you know that I’m a sucker for compliments?  I remember one time thinking that the guy I was with was just trying to flatter me yet what he said still made me smile.  Perhaps it is our nature as women to appreciate compliments more than men do.  And the good feeling I had about that compliment lasted for quite some time.  Perhaps you guys should take learn to be more vocal about appreciating our good qualities.

Today we feature a blog post from our sister site, Fringe Dating dotNet.

We all know it’s sometimes very hard to attract women. Many women are very selective when it comes to the men they date. That makes it very important to always be at your best behavior if you want to find a girlfriend. One of the best ways to attract a girlfriend is through the use of compliments; but of course this presumes that you know what to say. While this might seem easy, it is more challenging than you might think. Women are much more sensitive than men are, so you need to be especially careful when talking to the girl you like. So, what should you say to her, the girl you like?

Fringe Dating – Conversation Strategies

Begin each day by giving her a compliment. Tell her that you like her outfit or her hair. Make sure that you give her a genuine compliment every day. If you hear her mention that she is getting her hair done tomorrow, make sure that you comment on it the next day. Women love it when you notice a change in their appearance.

You should be in an upbeat mood whenever giving a compliment.  If you are in a lackluster mood, women aren’t as likely to appreciate the compliment. At the end of the compliment, flash a genuine smile. This will put the woman in a good mood for the rest of the day. She will associate the positive feeling she gets from your compliment with you. This will pay off when you ask her out on a date. While she might have declined to go on a date with you when you first met her, she will be more likely to go on a date with you after a few daily compliments. She will associate you with a good time and thus won’t hesitate to say yes the  next time you ask. This is exactly how to get a girlfriend if you have no clue where to start.

Offer to help the girl you like with anything she may be having difficulty with.  Run an errand for her, tutor her in math or music, play with her young sibling – be as helpful as you can.  This will help her build good feelings about you. She will know that you are a person she can count on, which is something girls look for in the men they date. Some like “indicators of value” such as ownership of property. Some like brains rather than brawn. Lisa Kagan talks about this here.

Now that you know what to say, you should be able to attract the right girl in no time. While complimenting a girl that you like everyday takes some getting used to, in time it will seem natural. As long as you are genuine in your conversations with the girl you like, you should have no problem winning her heart. Always be sensitive to the way she feels and make sure that she feels comfortable around you. Once she agrees to go on a date with you, keep showing her your great personality!

If you need help building your personality, check out brainwave entrainment programs.

If you can use more personalized coaching on confidence and personality improvement, attend my Yoga and Meditation class – go here.